Being Trans Is...

To have a moment in your life that shines above all others, when you come to accept and embrace your identity;

To be intensely excited simply at the prospect of being you;

To have many of your unresolved questions about your sexuality answered;

To learn new and more satisfying ways of existing and interacting with others;

To be misunderstood by most of the people in your life;

To have your gender subjected to more scrutiny than almost anyone else's;

To spend a long time cringing every time someone refers to you by name;

To be anxious about whether or not your body will ever feel like it belongs to you;

To be embarrassed to put a label on your sexuality for others;

To be jealous of the people around you who got to develop how you wish you had;

If you're queer, to possibly be jealous of the very people you're attracted to for the things which attract you to them;

To feel as though part of your life was taken from you;

To experience emotions you can't understand and possibly can't handle;

To never, ever be normal;

To actively fear your own past self;

To live from one prescription to the next;

To be afraid to mention any mental illnesses you suffer from to the person issuing those prescriptions;

To feel left out of almost every conversation where gender comes up;

To have no idea what to wear, or if you'll ever be able to figure it out;

To watch as the lives of other trans people are trampled upon, devastated, and ended for no other reason;

To be told you are brave and strong when it so often feels like more than you can bear;

To lose people;

To lose opportunities;

To give others the ability to withhold your identity from you should they be displeased with you;

To be treated with suspicion and mistrust by default;

To be required to give people space to treat you badly;

To constantly worry about ever being attractive to someone again;

To constantly worry whether the people who find you attractive still will in a year;

Often, to be devastated when they don't;

A blessing;

A curse;

All there is.

Disclaimer: This is a personal list. It does not reflect reality for all trans people. It doesn't even reflect reality for most trans people. I have tried to keep things general, so they apply to trans people with similar experiences to my own, but this is my list.